Mind, Body, and a Few More Friends

Day: 34 (Pueblo, CO to... Best Buy... and back)

Average Speed: 7.8 MPH

Miles Cycled Today: 11.5

Miles Cycled Total: 2,255

Mood: Sick and Tired (Literally... not like "I'm sick and tired of my seventh graders not doing their homework!" Not like that. Sick. and Tired.) 

Mural on the Outside of Great Divide Cycle Shop in Pueblo, Colorado

Mind wakes up at the Bramble Tree Inn, quite possibly the nation’s seediest hotel. Mind is happy to be alive. Body starts to stir 30 minutes later.

Mind: Only 80 miles today. No big deal. Just 80 short miles. 

Body: Wait, what? We’re doing that again? Didn’t we just do that yesterday? And the day before? And the day before that? And the-

Mind: Stop whining. Put your damn cycle diaper on. 

Body: <sigh> Okay. Extra Butt Butter please. 

Together, they lethargically and methodically go through the motions and pack the bags. In the left pannier, sandals in the bottom, laundry on top, toiletry bag crammed in last. In the right, tent in first, followed by laptop, then sleeping bag, then air mattress. They move their luggage out of the room. Other hotel “guests” assess the value of the equipment. 

Body: I can’t believe they put us on the second floor. This sucks. I’m not in the mood for hauling a forty pound bicycle down open grate stairs. 

Mind: Just get it over with. And really, you need to stop compl-

Woman on Drugs approaches on stairs. She sways from side to side. The bags under her eyes carry just as much luggage as the panniers. 

Woman on Drugs: “Do you want to buy some tools?”

Mind: Did she just ask me if I want to buy some tools?

Voice: “Excuse me?”

Woman on Drugs: “I’ll sell you some tools. Real cheap.”

Mind: Do you want to buy some tools? is not one of the Usual Questions. Does not compute. 

Voice: "I’m not currently in the market for tools. I’m on a bicycle."

Woman on Drugs: "Ohhhhh." (she leaves)

Mind, Body and Voice: That was strange.

Body begrudgingly loads panniers onto Trek.

Mind: Body, you're in luck. You get an extended rest- Trek needs new tires before we head out, so we'll delay today's start. We only have to ride two blocks over to the bike shop. 

Body: Let's just walk there.

Mind: <sigh> Fine. 

Outside Great Divide Cycle Shop

At the Great Divide Bicycle Shop, Mind, Body, and Voice meet Janet. She notes that Trek's tires are shot, and that the chain needs replacing. She estimates two hours. Body is overjoyed. Mind is upset. Both agree to make good use of the time and look for a place to get a haircut. They wander Downtown Pueblo for an hour, and find three hair salons. All say they are booked. 

No one wants to touch Body. 

Mind: I need a new GoPro case. Maybe we should run to Best Buy while we're waiting. It's only five miles away.

Body: Please tell me we're not biking or walking. Please. 

Mind: We'll take a cab. 

Body: I love you. 

Voice talks to cab company. Dispatcher says a car will be there in 20 minutes. An hour later, Trek is ready to go. Cab hasn't arrived. It's 1 PM. Voice talks to cab company again and cancels car. Cab company is unapologetic. 

Mind: Looks like we're biking there after all. 

Body: That's bullshit. 

Mind: Sorry.

Body: Is it on the way at least?

Mind: No. Not at all.

Body: I hate you. I will punish you for this. 

After a lazy five miles to Best Buy, Body's anger does not let up. He summons his two cronies, Headache and Fever. He tells them to go pay a visit to Mind. He encourages them to bring a crowbar. They do so. Mind agrees to compromise with Body.

Mind: Okay, okay! How about we cycle 35 miles today instead of 85? Mom was supposed to meet us in Howard, Colorado, but I'm sure she'd be fine with a change in plans. We'll shoot for Cañon City instead. How's that sound? 

Body: We're not friends anymore. You're a liar. Just like Joop. I'm not going anywhere. 

Body has supernatural powers of which mind was unaware. While Voice talks with Mom, telling her about the change in plans, Body calls all the hotels in Cañon City and books them solid, making sure there isn't a single room available. It is now 3 PM. This ruse almost backfires on Body as Mind considers the original route again: 85 miles to Howard. 

Body comes up with another plan and calls his friend Weather and asks for a favor.

Weather: Hail storm? That's all you need? From which direction? The west? Coming right up!

Weather makes good on the promise.

Mind: You win, Body. You win. We'll stay in Pueblo. There's a Supercuts next door to Best Buy. Can we stop in real quick before heading back to the hotel?

Body: Do we have to bike there?

Mind: We'll walk.

Body: Fine. 

Bobbi at Supercuts is willing to approach Body. Mind and Body almost fall asleep during haircut. 


Body and Mind make it to the hotel at 4:30 PM. Fever and Headache gain strength. Mom will be there in two hours. Body, Mind, Fever, and Headache all agree to ask their mutual over into Room 111 while waiting for Mom. His name is Nap. 

Mind: Ignore the fly buzzing around Body. Ignore the fly buzzing around Body. Ignore the fly buzzing around...........

Nap shows up quickly. Two hours go by. Mind and Body come alive when the hotel door opens.

Voice: Hi, Mom!

A Visit from Mom

Fever and Headache wave goodbye. 

Body agrees not to be a complete asshole tomorrow. 

P.S. 

Found something rare in the west: Good Pizza.

And their shirts were fun too.