Hitting the Break, a Driverless Google Car, and A Night to Remember

Day: 8 (REST DAY in Radford, VA)
Average Speed: 0 MPH
Miles Cycled Today: 0
Miles Cycled Total: 384
Mood: Relaxed

Outside the Radford, Virginia Bike Shop

If you've been following my mileage and doing a bit of calculus, you may be thinking that this slow poke can't afford a rest day. 
No worries. I took the Bernie Sanders math course, and getting this done before I have to be back to work in September should be no problemo.

Besides, there are at least 10 reasons why I am cashing in on what should be the one and only rest day:

1) Hanna's here. 'Nuf said. 
2) Heavy rain forecasted.
3) I need to re-organize and re-pack, now that I've figured out what I need and what I don't.
4) Some minor bike repairs necessary.
5) It's July 4th.
6) My right quad needs a bit of downtime. 
7) It's Monday.
8) Cycling is for girls.
9) I have to clip my toenails.
10) Virginia is for lovers.

Seriously, it could not be a better day to take off, and I'm actually expecting low mileage per day through the rest of Virginia and pretty much all of Kentucky due to terrain. But I'm gonna haul ass through Missouri and Kansas. 

Melissa Takes a Test Ride in Aisle 12

Hanna and I had no agenda for today- just needed to find ourselves a Wal-Mart for a couple of small things: a spare tube to replace the one I used (YES, I HAVE SPARE TUBES!), a patch kit, a screw to hold my water bottle cage on my bike (one of my cages fell off-- and those screws are not sold separately... they come with the cage... but I didn't need the cage... just the screw... and the screws are just lightly taped on the back... so... thanks for the donation Wal-Mart!) and some deodorant.  

It was delightful to turn the corner, however, and find Melissa gleefully riding a child size bike down the aisle to test it for size. She's pretty short, and adult size bikes won't fit her. But she's worried about people making fun of her for riding a small bike. I have no idea why. I've never seen someone so shamelessly cruising down the aisles of Wal-Mart on a kid's bike. Not only that, but this wasn't a stealth pic... I asked permission. Melissa rules. And so does that bike. People of Wal-Mart you are not, Melissa. You're just a damn good time. Get that bike. 

We found our way to Blacksburg (home of Virginia Tech) after our shopping spree, and joined the sparse crowd of onlookers watching a Fourth of July parade.

Boy are we glad we didn't blink! 

It made our Memorial Day parade in Unionville, NY look like a well choreographed Rockettes Spectacular. 

Hanna's dog, Lina, drew for more adoring stares than did the paraders.

Earlier today, there was a Shark Tank marathon playing in the background in our hotel room, and I just thought of a great idea to pitch: Dog rentals for single people. EVERYONE wants to pet Lina and talk to us about her. I'd say we can rent her out for 40/hour at least. If you're on a budget, we can probably find you one of those obnoxious Dachshunds for like 2 bucks a day. Great way to meet people.

Lina Licks a Baby

It was also kind of fun to drive a car for a bit.

But why am I the one driving you ask?  

Because Hanna lives in fear of driving in Virginia. 

She got a speeding ticket here (surprise!) four or five years ago, and never paid it. Now she thinks the entire state is on a manhunt for her and is (no joke) afraid of being arrested if she's pulled over. She even came up with an alias to use as a passenger in case I was pulled over. 

Hanna Saves a Baby

This, however, does not stop her from being the most intense back seat driver ever. From the passenger seat, she physically completed the following tasks while I was in motion: changing the windshield wiper speed, flipping the directional, putting the car in park, putting the car in reverse, rolling down the driver side window, rolling up the driver side window, changing the heat/AC, changing the radio volume (she likes the volume in increments in five, and- ignorantly, I set it to seven), pulling the key out of the ignition, putting the key into the ignition, turning the key, and- I kid you not- parallel parking the car... while I was driving. I assume this is what it's like to drive one of those Google cars that do everything for you. If that's true... I don't recommend buying one, at least not until it's out of beta.   

Hanna's Parking Job from the Passenger Seat

Note that this list does not include the endless comments made about my driving- most of which started with "Hey, Grandpa..." because I'm just as slow a driver as I am a cyclist. 

But hey... one of us doesn't lose sleep over the thought of driving in Virginia.

Just sayin'. 


The night was capped off with dinner at dive called BT's, where a Radford University graduate named Nate was doing a shot of Jagermeister mixed with Red Bull and Bacardi 151. When I told him that sounded like the most disgusting thing I'd ever heard of, he said "Want one?"

Yes. 

I just wanted to make sure it was as gross as it sounded. It was. 

Fireworks in Radford, VA

This band was impressive. 











A small town fair with a small town country band and small town fireworks ended a hugely important day for me. 

Even though it culminated with a torrential downpour, I'm still awake right now. I just don't want it to end. Don't get me wrong- I'm so, so ready to continue... but I have gold right now for just a few more hours.

As I type this, Hanna is sleeping in one bed, and Lina in the other. 

But I'm hesitant to get into either. 

Because then it will be tomorrow. 

P.S.

Stay in school kids! Take this guy's word for it!

'Merica!