Hellos, Goodbyes, and Into the Woods

Day: I dunno... Let's go with 12. Berlin, Germany to the middle of the woods south of Berlin, Germany.

Average Speed: 16.6 km/hour (10 mph) 

Distance Cycled Today: 138.9 km (86 Miles) 

Distance Cycled Total: 1159 km (720 Miles)

Mood: Totally Satisfied

Building Outside of Berlin... Covered in Bicycles

Bike vs. Trees... Trees won eventually.

I'm cycling with Jamie Norton now. That's a picture of him struggling to get his bike under a downed tree in the middle of the woods at 10 PM after cycling almost 90 miles. 

We gave up and set up our tents instead. 

More on him and our current situation later. 

Suffice it to say Google suggested the route.




So after losing 10 cycle days due to illness, followed by a 3 day stint in Prague (took train since I lost so much time), followed by a 4 day bachelor party on a Tom Sawyer-esque cabin boat, and 2 days at a beautiful wedding, I'm back on the road. 

And today's 86 miles felt great... at least it was great before we stranded ourselves in a German forest. 

Before I get to the ride today, here's a quick smattering of memories/thoughts from the past couple weeks:

Me and George... the latter of whom is way too happy to be in
an ice bar. I'm just cold.

1) Prague- It's currently on our cycle route again since we're headed to Croatia. So I'll save the touristy photos for another time. But three days to catch up with my high school buddy, George (he lives in Australia now), was a blast. And hey, we even found an ice bar at some point. That's right. A bar and and a furnished room made of ice. Sounds dumb, right? That's because it is. But when something that stupid exists, it demands your attention.

German mosquitoes come out at about 6 PM.
This photo was taken before that. When we
were happy. 

2) Mosquitoes- When we got back to Germany, we took a day-long canoe trip in a really interesting area where the towns are connected by canals in a Venice-y kind of way. But Germany is currently having a bit of a mosquito crisis (not lying. See for yourself). When you swat at your arm, and you end up killing four mosquitoes at once, it's impressive to look at, but they keep coming. I've never seen anything like it. We brought bug spray... but it was left in the car. (FYI I've bumped off about 15 of those suckers that landed on my computer screen since I started typing tonight).

One idiot forgot to remove the sunglasses. Everyone else
followed that specifically given direction.

3) Reunions and New Friendships- Because another high school buddy, Daryl, was getting married to a beautiful Berliner, Mirja, a bunch of us made the trip to the wedding (see pic- that's the high school crew that showed up). With that comes a lot of people who are taking advantage of Europe while the chance is there. It's been a (delightful) constant flux of people coming and going. And we also had the opportunity to meet and spend quality time with Daryl and Mirja's German friends. They are wonderful, hospitable, and a ton of fun.

The groom-to-be takes advantage of a sunny day. 

4) The Bachelor Party- Six guys on a relatively small cabin boat for four days? Six cases of German pilsner? What can go wrong?

Actually nothing, really. Two days of pretty steady rain didn't even hamper it. Rather, it gave George the opportunity to remind me that he is now better than I am at Scrabble.

And as long as Daryl can hang a hammock, he's a pretty happy guy. 

Nuptials

5) The Wedding-  It was held at an astonishingly beautiful remote mansion on a lake 60 km outside of Berlin. 

No wifi, no cell service.

Instead, campfires, guitars, singing, dancing, ping pong, swimming, boating, band made up of Minisink alumni, Apferol spritzes (try it), Mad Libs, billiards, and a Maker's Mark toast...

In other words, a perfect two days.

My limousine to the wedding

Plus I had the opportunity to bike to the site, which felt great. 

Beautiful photo of the Brandenburg Gate taken by Paul

6) Berlin- I was able to spend a good amount of time here- at least enough to start feeling like I know my way around the city. I'll share some quick impressions: 

The Good: 

Food- If you find a bad meal in Berlin, it's either your fault or I cooked it. 

Night Life- It's a lively town that doesn't sleep. 15 of us had a great time at a Karaoke club with our own huge private booth.

Public Transport- A+. Clean. Efficient. Easy to figure out.

Gelato- It's everywhere. And it's amazing.

Cycling- Bike paths abound. And if pedestrians accidentally stray into them, you'll get a piece of someone's mind. 

The Bad: 

Ice- How is it that a place with such good gelato hasn't embraced the ice cube? I realize this is not specific to Berlin, but Americans love their ice. I suggest packing your own if you visit.

Table Service- For the most part, it's awful. And we were with natives- not just a bunch of loud, obnoxious American tourists whom the waiters are actively ignoring. It's laughably bad. 

CHEERS FOR THE BEER, HOLLY SHADER!

The Rules- Germans tend to follow the rules to the letter. The most minor offense- accidental or on purpose- is apt to cause a native to throw you a hairy eyeball. In New York, the "Do Not Walk" crossing signal is merely a suggestion. Not so in Berlin. You will wait for that light to turn green. And you will wait for a long time. Even if there is not a car in sight. 

The Beer: Pilsner, pilsner everywhere. Don't know how to say this without sounding pretentious, but I miss the IPA.



The Ugly:

Graffiti- I love tactful graffiti- and it certainly exists in Berlin- but I don't know how there's any spray paint left to purchase in that city. Graffiti is everywhere. And most of it is an eyesore. 

Park/Playground Maintenance- I'm just gonna go ahead and assume there's not a single lawn mower to be found in the whole city. It's hairy.

All in all, it was a fantastic stay, and I'm so grateful to the Berliners who opened their homes to us. But I'm excited to move on- especially with this guy (see pic):

We're Not in Kansas Anymore...

I met Jamie in Kansas last year whilst cycling across the United States. We ended up more or less sticking together until we hit San Francisco. He's one helluva cyclist, probably the funniest person I've ever met, and he's a perfect cycling partner. 

Not much has changed. He griped that I kept him up late with my awful snoring and woke him too early with the bomb-raid alarm that I sleep through. I complained that I have to ask him to repeat every sentence two or three times while I navigate my way through the Manchester accent.

And although I hadn't so much as been on a bicycle until May this year, Jamie has been putting in 60 miles every other day on a single speed bike throughout Manchester since he went back home last September. 

In other words, he's in better shape than he was at the end of our previous tour. 

What an inconsiderate ass.

However, he's about as logistically planned as I am though to make the trip to Croatia. We're winging it. Which is likely the reason we're stuck in a forest right now. 

Almost made it! Stranded less than 10 km from destination!

Here's today's (attempted) route:

A field. 

It started out smooth. Almost too smooth. The kind of smooth that lets you know something is lurking ahead. 

Beautiful fields. Smooth roads. Picturesque German villages.  Occasional bike paths that paralleled high traffic areas. And no real hills to speak of.

Picturesque German village.

Jamie suggested stopping for lunch after our first 40 miles- and although I was full after a late McDonald's breakfast, I relented. 

Good thing. After that we were pretty much in the woods for the next 45 miles.

I had warned him that Google Maps goes a bit crazy once you hit the bicycle symbol, but some things you have to see to believe. 

I'm starting to genuinely enjoy the amount of off-roading that the map suggests, but I have my limits. 

There's a reason people don't cycle on the beach...

And roads made entirely of beach sand is one of them.

Paths made out of crushed red brick, glass, porcelain, and whatever the hell else was in the demolished building that they repurposed into a cycling surface is another.

But the real fun came just a few miles from our end point, when we heeded the advice of the automated voice of the GPS that simply said “Go South.” On what path? Who knows! 

And since we were already deep in the woods and so close to the end, turning around seemed rather silly. 

So we went south.

Think Lance Armstrong does this kind of cycling? Hell no.

Getting over the first felled tree was somewhat humorous. It took ten minutes of struggling... but when it's as late as it was, you stop caring about time.

Getting over the second one was still giggle inducing. 

The third was a bit obnoxious. 

And the fourth? I hopped over and shone my light down the "path." No way. Fallen trees everywhere. Time to give up.

How did we go from sailing through Kansas, Colorado, Utah, Nevada, and California together to being stuck in the middle of a German forest?

Posh digs, eh?

Because we're a couple of idiots who don't plan.

As we were setting up camp where we threw in the towel, Jamie asked a disturbingly interesting question:

"Hey Jim... you think if we get killed tonight by a bear or a clown or something that the news channels will report that we were experienced cyclists and campers?"

We both agreed through belly laughs that the answer is "yes."

There is nothing not fun about our situation right now. Our humor is intact, and we'll figure it out. 

Besides, there are no bears to worry about. 

They've all been eaten by mosquitoes. 

Alles gut. Dresden tomorrow.

P.S.

Hey cars... Beware of Those Pesky Trees Jumping Out at You on Major Roads!

By the way... I took this picture well before our current situation. 

The irony isn't lost on me.