The American Invasion

Day: 14 (Hebden Bridge to Harrogate) and day 15 (rest day)

Average Speed: 7 mph

Distance: 35.5 miles

Distance Cycled Total: 676.9 miles 

Feet climbed: 2,979 ; 33,307.9 total

Difficulty level: Very challenging

Window Art on Today's Route

When I decided to tour the U.K. this year, barely two weeks before leaving, I immediately sent a message to Andy and Tracey, cyclists I had met while crossing Missouri almost exactly three years ago. They were going the opposite way, and I credit the one night we stayed together in a curious (and cheap) hotel as a turning point in that trip- their humor and positive attitude bolstering me through the oppressive heat and humidity associated with Missouri's July. 

At the time, I couldn't even recall the name of the end point of the trip ("...something O'Groat" I had written).

Andy replied immediately:

It's true that they are on the way to Scotland. However, one can argue that pretty much everywhere in England is on the way to Scotland if you're moving from south to north. The town of Harrogate wasn't on my route, but that doesn't matter much here. It's been rather fun zigzagging my way along rather than taking the direct route.

I entered the details into a new app I'm using called Kamoot as an alternative to Google Maps. I'd been told it provides a more cycle-friendly experience. 



The app warned me before I set off: THIS ROUTE IS FOR EXPERTS. 

I shrugged that warning off. Pshaw!, I thought, Even if it's a bit tough, it's only 35 miles!

Oops. 

Very confused goat in road

"Experience" and "Expertise" are two words that shouldn't be confused. I have no problem calling myself an experienced touring cyclist, but I sure as hell ain't no expert. The day's terrain on the hottest day of the year here served as a not-so-gentle reminder of that. 

I'd describe the first climb out of Hebden Bridge as "wonderfully brutal." After all, I still had energy, and it was a delightful change from the canal towpaths I'd been following, providing a remarkable view of the valley. Everything that followed? Just plain brutal. Even the goat who caused a minor traffic jam was having difficulty finding its footing on the relentlessly steep hills (or perhaps it's that goats' hooves just weren't made for pavement). 

Andy takes a pic of my arrival

Five miles in and I sent Andy a text, changing my ETA to later in the day.

It's always easy to look back on something you did and romanticize it. I mean... I feel fine now! And as soon as I saw Andy waving from the street corner, dressed (as always) to the nines in a waistcoat, tie, and porkpie hat, everything miserable about the day's ride instantly vanished. 

But if I'm being honest, I'm pretty sure that ride was awful. Certainly the least enjoyable of the trip so far. 

Initially I'd been leery when my hosts encouraged me to take a day's rest and enjoy their hometown. I don't really do that when cycle touring. I always worry about losing whatever momentum I have. It's the sacrifice one makes on this type of trip: You see everything and nothing at the same time, often sacrificing sight-seeing in favor of a brief and general overview. 

With a freshly pulled calf muscle and two of the most entertaining people I've ever met eager to show me around, it wasn't hard to convince me. I'm pretty sure Tracey would've sabotaged my bike had I insisted on riding the next day. 

And for the first time ever, I was a true tourist, enjoying every second of a full rest day.

Had I continued on, I would've missed:

1) The Club.

Andy plays bartender at The Harrogate Club

Andy belongs to a "Gentlemen's Club" (no... not that kind of Gentlemen's Club), where members are welcome anytime to enjoy the solitude of a posh and refined environment. Want to try your hand at snooker? Head over to the Harrogate Club! Need to unwind with a snifter of brandy after a long day at work? The Harrogate Club is the place to be! Members have their own keys, tend their own bar, and have their run of place, and as long as everyone respects the environment, it's yours to do with as you please. I quite like the concept, though perhaps I shouldn't have worn flip-flops.

Ruins of the Knaresborough Castle

2) The Knaresborough Castle

Tracey and I took a long morning walk to the nearby village of Knaresborough, which features the ruins of a castle built in the 12th century. I've found that astonishing views and attractive towns are the rule in England rather than the exception. After climbing the steps up to the landmark, we rewarded ourselves with an 11 AM beer... because... you know... it's a rest day. 






3) Tea at Betty's

Betty's Tea Room is a well-oiled machine of a restaurant, renowned for its "Cream Tea." It's a bustling business with locations in several of England's more refined cities. I'd seen cream tea advertised ever since entering Devon, and I assumed it was simply tea served with cream rather than milk. Cream, however, refers to the array of pastries that accompany the tea. It still makes no sense to me- why they'd call it "cream tea"- the tea itself is not being modified at all and it is certainly not the main feature. We debated this at length. I think I won. 









4) The Walking Tour

By chance, a friend of Tracey and Andy's was giving a free walking tour of the city after we finished our lunch. With a polished charisma, our tour guide, Harry, explained the history of Harrogate as a destination for the wealthy to enjoy its many hydrotherapy centers of the 1800s. Today, we'd laugh at people's desire to cleanse themselves in sulfur water or experience electric shock as someone dropped the equivalent of an electric toaster into your bath, but back then? It was all the rage. 







5) The Dinosaurs

As tomorrow is Carnival in Harrogate, the town is in preparation for all kinds of events. And a group of remarkable actors in intricately designed costumes decided to give an impromptu preview. All of the town's pedestrians were in shock as five dinosaurs and a witch paraded around the town centre, both delighting and horrifying children in an impressive stampede. It was nearly impossible to figure out how a human being fit into the costume and operated its neck, tail, head, and jaws at the same time. Really... check out that video. 

While I name these as five highlights during my brief stay, the true highlight was simply enjoying the company of two wonderful, caring people with whom I shared an amazing experience. 

Just as when I met them in Missouri, there was no shortage of conversation and laughter. 

They even adorned my bed with a teddy bear as a reminder of the creepy infestation of dolls that surrounded us at The Butterfly Inn, where we'd last met. 

THIS BEER SPONSORED BY:

ANDY DENNIS
and
TRACEY HILL!

Click HERE to sponsor a beer!

And a calf massage to end the night? Don't ask me twice. 

When I'd met them in America, I was nearly halfway through my journey, and very much in need of an emotional boost to get me through the rest. 

Very little is different this time. I'm halfway to John O'Groats. And as I prepare to head out into the rain, it will be with a smile. 

Thanks, Andy and Tracey.

I can't wait to cross paths again. 














P.S.

Nothing like a little bathroom poetry to lighten your day,

though there seems to be a bit of debate as to what the final word should be.