Day: 4 Stenungsund, Sweden to Varberg, Sweden
Average Speed: 16.4 km/h (10.1 mph... I'm hurtin')
Distance Cycled Today: 126.5 km (78.5 Miles) Exact Same as Yesterday!
Miles Cycled Total: 468 km (290 Miles)
Mood:Weary
Don't text and cycle.
You think I would've learned this lesson after a few mishaps in the past, but nope! So, if you're playing Green Saddle Bingo (not too late to join get in on the fun of my failures!), please circle this square on your card:
Usually, it takes about 10 miles for my legs to wake up and realize that I'm asking them to do a boatload of work for the rest of the day.
Today, they slept in.
I'm lucky there were no major climbs to speak of, because I'm not so sure I would've made it to Varberg today if there were.
The eyes too. I just kept... blinking. A lot of blinking. And constant wiping away of tears (no... you may not circle "Start Crying for No Reason" on your Bingo card... this doesn't count. Besides, I think it had something to do with the sunblock I was using).
It's not that I didn't enjoy today's ride, but I can't say I wasn't looking forward to its conclusion. Pretty much everything hurts right now.
My first pit stop was in the city of Uddevalla.
And what a pit stop it was!
I'm well aware of the childish number of times I've brought up bathroom situations and bodily functions in the past five days- and I will try to curb that in the future- but please indulge me one last time.
This one's a doozy.
I stopped off at Uddevalla's lovely and accommodating bus station. It's sparkling clean, and complete with a tourism desk, friendly staff, and two public bathrooms.
One of the bathrooms was labeled unisex, and it was in use.
The other was clearly marked handicapped, but it was vacant.
Look- we've all been there. Amiright or amiright? So before you start judging my decision to use the handicapped one, ask yourself if you live in a glass house.
I did look both ways to make sure no one was watching as I slunk in, ready to load up my NY Times Crossword app and have a good eight minute repose.
The problem arose as I tried to figure out how to operate the lock on the door. I didn't see one. The only thing I saw was a nearby box that had a red button and a green button. I thought it seemed to be an awfully complex door locking system, but hey... I'm out of my territory.
I pressed the red button.
Big mistake.
Although I pressed the green button to stop the blaring alarm just milliseconds after I had made my poor choice, the damage was done.
At the time, I didn't know that, so I simply went about my merry way.
Me: 1-Across... Songwriters' org. ASCAP. Easy! 6-Across... Honorific that becomes...
Frantic Lady at Door: KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK! [Something urgent in Swedish]
Me: (Immediately understanding the situation) I'm okay! I just pressed the wrong button!
Frantic Lady at Door: [Something very urgent in Swedish]
Me: I'm fine! I'm okay! I made a mistake!
Frantic Lady at Door: (realizing I don't speak Swedish) Is everything okay in there? Do you need help?
Me: No! Thank you, ma'am! I made a mistake! Thank you! Sorry! Excuse me! I'm sorry!
[extended silence]
Me: ...Honorific that becomes another honorific if you reverse its last two letters... it's gotta be SRI... "honorific" is usually SRI or AGA... oh yeah, look at that... SRI becomes SIR if you switch the last two...
Angry Man at Door: KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK! [Something angry in Swedish]
Me: Sorry! Sorry! I pressed the wrong button! I'm okay! We already figured this out!
Angry Man at Door: (realizing I don't speak Swedish) NO SMOKE IN TOILET!
Me: (befuddled) ...I'm not... smoking...
Angry Man at Door: Smoke signal says you smoke in toilet!
Me: I'm not... I tried to lock the... I pressed... that's not the smoke alarm that went off... that's...
Angry Man at Door: NO SMOKE IN TOILET!
Me: Okay! Thank you! Sorry! Excuse me! Sorry! Thank you!
I put the crossword away.
When I exited, I tried to rush out without anyone seeing me. My shoes went tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap across the tiled floor as I scurried away. But I wasn't elusive enough. I was stopped by security while another guard went in the bathroom to assess the situation.
He came out pretty quickly with eyes averted, and sheepishly signaled to my captor to release me back into the wild.
By the way, in order to lock the door, you simply have to move the handle upwards.
With an aching body, tired eyes, and shattered dignity, I headed to Göteborg.
I hate to sound ignorant, but I had no idea Göteborg was a big city. Like, real big. I usually go by the map's font size of town names to judge size, and Göteborg matched Uddevalla in that respect.
But Göteborg is big, and beautiful, and full of one-way bicycle paths that are very, very hard to follow. I went the wrong way on several of them (I mean... really... who cares... it's a bicycle path). People are quick to let you know that you screwed up. Lots of scowls. Lots of grunts. And the hairiest of hairy eyeballs.
I didn't have a lot of time to sight-see here, but I sure as hell got me a Sweden sticker to slap on my bike frame! And a replacement power adapter. And a Subway sandwich.
I'll put it on the list of places I need to re-visit in the future. It really looks like a wonderful city.
The path leading me to Varberg took me through horse country and more of idyllic Sweden. There was plenty to look at, but when your body is aching as badly as mine was, beauty is sometimes hard to appreciate fully.
One thing that I hope continues is the remarkable (and somewhat spontaneous) string of reunions I'm having with the cast of Up with People from my years of traveling as a young pup.
Today, I was reunited with Louise Wandel and her partner, Dan.
Dan had cooked some delicious Pad Thai and Louise purchased a special beer for me based on my blog entries:
Turns out, you can buy beer above 3.5%, but you have to go to a special, government-operated store that is open approximately 15 minutes per day.
I remember Louise as someone who was wise beyond her years when I was touring with her, and my memory is indeed correct. We caught up over dinner.
She has traveled quite a bit, and notes that there are pros and cons to each of the countries she's visited.
She's originally from Sweden, and settled back here due to the pros of her homeland.
The government grants parents two years leave of absence from work for each child that is born, and pays about 90% of their salary. She and Dan split this allowance of paid time to raise their two young sons.
Discrimination against women- especially in the work place- is almost a non-issue. This is what is most important to her.
Currently, Dan is the stay-at-home dad (they alternate). And there is no judgement passed for that.
And health care? That's included too.
Tomorrow is going to be a short, easy ride. Louise is coming along for the day. And Dan is taking my bags and meeting us by car later as we head to their friends' house.
40 pounds I don't have to pedal with?
That's a load off my mind.
P.S.
Don't text and cycle.
You think I would've learned this lesson after a few mishaps in the past, but nope! So, if you're playing Green Saddle Bingo (not too late to join get in on the fun of my failures!), please circle this square on your card:
This happened at kilometer 92 today, after reading a text message from my friend, Heidi.
Coincidentally, the message was about whether it was okay to circle "Lose Something Crucial" because of my lost power adapter (Sure! Go ahead! I'm not picky!).
And while reading that message, my bike moved to the right about an inch, off the pavement ledge, and into a ditch.
Ironically enough, it gave me the wakeup I so badly needed to finish the day, served with a side of humiliation as several cars stopped to ask if I was alright.
It was painful for sure, but it took the attention off the pain everywhere else. And I was pretty hurtin' today.
So in other words, don't text and cycle, unless you have a pre-existing injury that you're looking to upstage. Then by all means, go for it.
Anyway, here's where we went today:
 |
| A Mild Elevation Profile |
 |
| Today's Route |
Usually, it takes about 10 miles for my legs to wake up and realize that I'm asking them to do a boatload of work for the rest of the day.
Today, they slept in.
I'm lucky there were no major climbs to speak of, because I'm not so sure I would've made it to Varberg today if there were.
The eyes too. I just kept... blinking. A lot of blinking. And constant wiping away of tears (no... you may not circle "Start Crying for No Reason" on your Bingo card... this doesn't count. Besides, I think it had something to do with the sunblock I was using).
It's not that I didn't enjoy today's ride, but I can't say I wasn't looking forward to its conclusion. Pretty much everything hurts right now.
 |
| Leaving Uddevalla |
My first pit stop was in the city of Uddevalla.
And what a pit stop it was!
I'm well aware of the childish number of times I've brought up bathroom situations and bodily functions in the past five days- and I will try to curb that in the future- but please indulge me one last time.
This one's a doozy.
I stopped off at Uddevalla's lovely and accommodating bus station. It's sparkling clean, and complete with a tourism desk, friendly staff, and two public bathrooms.
One of the bathrooms was labeled unisex, and it was in use.
The other was clearly marked handicapped, but it was vacant.
Look- we've all been there. Amiright or amiright? So before you start judging my decision to use the handicapped one, ask yourself if you live in a glass house.
I did look both ways to make sure no one was watching as I slunk in, ready to load up my NY Times Crossword app and have a good eight minute repose.
 |
| Don't Press Red Buttons |
I pressed the red button.
Big mistake.
Although I pressed the green button to stop the blaring alarm just milliseconds after I had made my poor choice, the damage was done.
At the time, I didn't know that, so I simply went about my merry way.
Me: 1-Across... Songwriters' org. ASCAP. Easy! 6-Across... Honorific that becomes...
Frantic Lady at Door: KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK! [Something urgent in Swedish]
Me: (Immediately understanding the situation) I'm okay! I just pressed the wrong button!
Frantic Lady at Door: [Something very urgent in Swedish]
Me: I'm fine! I'm okay! I made a mistake!
Frantic Lady at Door: (realizing I don't speak Swedish) Is everything okay in there? Do you need help?
Me: No! Thank you, ma'am! I made a mistake! Thank you! Sorry! Excuse me! I'm sorry!
[extended silence]
Me: ...Honorific that becomes another honorific if you reverse its last two letters... it's gotta be SRI... "honorific" is usually SRI or AGA... oh yeah, look at that... SRI becomes SIR if you switch the last two...
Angry Man at Door: KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK! [Something angry in Swedish]
Me: Sorry! Sorry! I pressed the wrong button! I'm okay! We already figured this out!
Angry Man at Door: (realizing I don't speak Swedish) NO SMOKE IN TOILET!
Me: (befuddled) ...I'm not... smoking...
Angry Man at Door: Smoke signal says you smoke in toilet!
Me: I'm not... I tried to lock the... I pressed... that's not the smoke alarm that went off... that's...
Angry Man at Door: NO SMOKE IN TOILET!
Me: Okay! Thank you! Sorry! Excuse me! Sorry! Thank you!
I put the crossword away.
When I exited, I tried to rush out without anyone seeing me. My shoes went tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap across the tiled floor as I scurried away. But I wasn't elusive enough. I was stopped by security while another guard went in the bathroom to assess the situation.
He came out pretty quickly with eyes averted, and sheepishly signaled to my captor to release me back into the wild.
By the way, in order to lock the door, you simply have to move the handle upwards.
With an aching body, tired eyes, and shattered dignity, I headed to Göteborg.
 |
| Beautiful Gothenburg |
But Göteborg is big, and beautiful, and full of one-way bicycle paths that are very, very hard to follow. I went the wrong way on several of them (I mean... really... who cares... it's a bicycle path). People are quick to let you know that you screwed up. Lots of scowls. Lots of grunts. And the hairiest of hairy eyeballs.
I didn't have a lot of time to sight-see here, but I sure as hell got me a Sweden sticker to slap on my bike frame! And a replacement power adapter. And a Subway sandwich.
I'll put it on the list of places I need to re-visit in the future. It really looks like a wonderful city.
 |
| Somewhere in Rural Sweden |
The path leading me to Varberg took me through horse country and more of idyllic Sweden. There was plenty to look at, but when your body is aching as badly as mine was, beauty is sometimes hard to appreciate fully.
 |
| Somewhere Else in Rural Sweden |
One thing that I hope continues is the remarkable (and somewhat spontaneous) string of reunions I'm having with the cast of Up with People from my years of traveling as a young pup.
Today, I was reunited with Louise Wandel and her partner, Dan.
 |
| Pad Thai and a Big Tent |
Dan had cooked some delicious Pad Thai and Louise purchased a special beer for me based on my blog entries:
Turns out, you can buy beer above 3.5%, but you have to go to a special, government-operated store that is open approximately 15 minutes per day.
 |
| Moose. Fun to say. Funner to drink. Moose. |
I remember Louise as someone who was wise beyond her years when I was touring with her, and my memory is indeed correct. We caught up over dinner.
She has traveled quite a bit, and notes that there are pros and cons to each of the countries she's visited.
She's originally from Sweden, and settled back here due to the pros of her homeland.
The government grants parents two years leave of absence from work for each child that is born, and pays about 90% of their salary. She and Dan split this allowance of paid time to raise their two young sons.
Discrimination against women- especially in the work place- is almost a non-issue. This is what is most important to her.
 |
| Me and Louise |
And health care? That's included too.
Tomorrow is going to be a short, easy ride. Louise is coming along for the day. And Dan is taking my bags and meeting us by car later as we head to their friends' house.
40 pounds I don't have to pedal with?
That's a load off my mind.
P.S.
I stared at this sign for about 5 minutes... is it just me, or is there a syntax error?
Wouldn't it be more effective if it read "If You Don't Think Shit Happens, Park Here"?
Have a better day tomorrow :-/ ... just FYI "the Don" is in Poland... then plans on visiting Germany, so if you head that way and notice traffic jams you'll know why.
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DeleteThat's so cool you are across the world and riding a bike to places you haven't been. I hope you are having fun and you should bring me back a souvenir :)
ReplyDeleteAlso I may have your uni-chicken lmao
ReplyDeleteLOVED reading your blog! Sorry for the spill, but at least no BEER got spilled, right? Best Bingo game I've ever seen! Wondering how you made it. Wishing I were there, tearing up Sweden's roads with you. Safe riding!
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