A Song on Repeat, No Average Joe, and Old School

Day: 27 (Walnut, KS to Eureka, KS) Side trip to Emporia, KS

Average Speed: 12.2 MPH

Miles Cycled Today: 91.2 

Miles Cycled Total: 1702

Bike Sign Luring Cyclists Away from Route

If you’re ever in the mood for a game of Tic-Tac-Toe, but you’re lacking the appropriate game board, just go to Google Earth, type in “Kansas,” and use their road system. 

Today's Route

While most cyclists categorize Kansas as “boring,” I don’t think that’s a fair assessment. It’s more like listening to a wonderful song on repeat for eight hours a day. Just because you heard it over and over again, it doesn’t make the song less wonderful. It makes it… redundant, and you have to remind yourself that it’s wonderful. 

Kansas Forever

Someone recently asked me about boredom and how I handle it, but it was a hard question to answer because in the past 1700 miles, I’ve rarely been bored. But that’s because I’ve never been on an interminably straight road. 

Interminably Straight Road

The roads that I’m familiar with are constantly turning or hilly, and what that does is add an imperceptible level of suspense that keeps your mind engaged. You might not overtly be thinking What’s around the next corner? or What challenge lies ahead? but those questions are constantly there in the back of the mind.

Numbered Roads Abound

In Kansas, that’s not the case. The roads are naked and spread eagle- unashamed and there for you to see. They are proudly unimaginative (even small backroads are numbered rather than creatively named). They are either East and West or North and South, and the locals use these words instead of Left and Right when giving directions. I’m not accustomed to this, and it always winds up sounding like a bad Abbott and Costello sketch:

Me: Excuse me sir, but could you tell me how to get to Road #3?

Kansas Local: Sure! Just head west at that stop sign on Road #1, then you're gonna pass 936 cows before you turn north onto Road #2 for about 86 miles. After that, count 14,782 bales of hay, then turn west again onto Road #3.

Me: Okay… so make a left at that stop sign?

Kansas Local: West. 

Me: So that’s left, right?

Kansas Local: (pause) Right. (pregnant pause) It’s west. 

And by the way… Kansas isn’t flat either. If you’re driving a car, you might not notice the 0.5% uphill grade that lasts for 15 miles. When you’re on a bike, you notice. 

But it’s beautiful. 

View She Was Looking At

One woman was looking at the landscape outside a convenience store when I pulled up. “Isn’t that an amazing view?” she asked in greeting. I could’ve looked in the complete opposite direction and seen the same vista she was impressed with. But the fact that this woman, who has lived here all her life, was so taken by Kansas’s beauty was a reminder of how easy it is to take things for granted (see pic for what she was looking at). 

Nonetheless, the lack of suspense forces you to live inside your own head, and if a negative thought creeps in, it festers for hours, and makes the experience painful. Like the mountains, it’s a mind game, but it’s a totally different rule book. This isn’t tricking your legs to sweat through One More Pedal… this is tricking your psyche.

Another thing: Kansas is the first of the states on this route to do away with the clearly marked Bicycle Route 76 road signs. This might sound like "no big deal" because of the cut-and-dry nature of the grid system, but consider this direction from my map: At power pole “Switch P7-F901 KG&E”, turn right onto unsigned road.

Huh? 

If you see a guy in a bright orange jersey staring blankly at telephone poles at every intersection in the middle of the country, rest assured that he’s simply headed towards the Pacific Ocean. Tell him to go west. That’ll help. 

In the middle of today’s ride, I saw a sign that very much encouraged me to get off my route. It’s the sign in the picture at the top of this post. This to me looks like a trap, luring cyclists to their doom. It seems like something the Big Bad Wolf would make in an attempt to catch the Three Little Pigs. 

But who can resist a sign like that? Not me. 

Benedict Community Store

It led me to a rustic, closed convenience store that had signage all over it, offering hospitality and ice cream to cyclists. There was a number to call, and call I did. 

Pastor Joe

The proprietor, Pastor Joe, was there in minutes, driving a yellow school bus and accompanied by his dog, Copper. Pastor Joe unlocked the door and led me to different stations within the store, where I was given ice cream, an energy drink, and a cleansing/refill of my water bottles. 

"We're not here to make a living, we're here to have fun," he'd said. 

This was by no means a quick process. And while it was refreshing and I was thankful, there was a small price to pay. 

Treats from Pastor Joe

So if you don’t mind sitting through a highly detailed sermon/conspiracy theory lecture about the attacks on 9/11 and how it corresponds with symbolism in the Jewish faith, head on over to the Benedict, Kansas community store. They’re always open. Just be prepared to nod in agreement. A lot. 

Jennifer Bennett Meets Me in Eureka

This meet and greet put me a bit behind schedule, so I raced to the town of Eureka, where a friend of my parents named Jennifer Bennett was nice enough to pick me up in order to offer hospitality in Emporia for the night (No… this is not a SAG… I am starting again at the Dollar General in Eureka tomorrow… right where I left off… I saw you raise your eyebrow).

My parents first visited Emporia about 15 years ago, when my father was inducted into the National Teacher Hall of Fame. This was (and is) kind of a big deal, as only five teachers from the country are inducted annually. Jennifer had been my parents’ host at the time and has stayed in touch ever since. 

One Room Schoolhouse Memorial

Since I landed on a weekend, I couldn’t go inside to see dad’s name and picture on the wall, but she brought me to the One Room Schoolhouse Memorial, where he had taken part in events and lectures.

Dad (left) in the One Room Schoolhouse... Wearing a Dunce Cap

Back at her house, Jennifer brought out a photo album and scrapbook of my parents’ visit, and it was wonderful to see my father, full of life and humor, accomplishing something that is unfathomable for most of us teachers. 

While my time in Emporia will be short, visiting that memorial and then seeing pictures of my father there- well worth the side trip.

Mom and Dad are Rightmost- Jennifer is Second to the Right

My father loved Kansas. He never tired of things that were beautiful. Even when something unwillingly became redundant, he found a different way of looking at it, or he discovered something new to learn. 

I’m sure I will love Kansas too, as long as I constantly remind myself to look at it through his eyes.  

P.S.

This Liquor Store Exists... 

...And I bet the owners high five every couple of minutes for their stroke of genius.